I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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