1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
