I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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