I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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