I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
