i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
