I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
