i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
