youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
