We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize