We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
