I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
