Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
