ya dads aren't the best wingmen
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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