ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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