I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
