I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
