Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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