"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
