Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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