so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
