shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
