Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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