you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
