Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
