i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
