Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
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He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!