i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".