I wanna bring you to show and tell
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's just like the Real World with babies
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard