Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.

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(305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming. http://tfl.nu/oxhe

Replies (139) Good night (1617) Bad night (37770)
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(408): View more from California

I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

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(408): I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible http://tfl.nu/my4k

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong

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(856): i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong http://tfl.nu/5qbx

Replies (15) Good night (6297) Bad night (1335)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.

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(240): Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present. http://tfl.nu/qzgl

Replies (9) Good night (4208) Bad night (667)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed

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(571): I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed http://tfl.nu/piiv

Replies (25) Good night (4942) Bad night (1231) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?

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(310): Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head? http://tfl.nu/rn01

Replies (1) Good night (2100) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?

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(518): Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation? http://tfl.nu/dtaz

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?

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(814): so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass? http://tfl.nu/0xyl

Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (2007) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

How did you break your hand eating pizza?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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(603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz

Replies (7) Good night (2535) Bad night (681)
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(514): View more from Quebec

OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?

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(514): OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/286d

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool

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(919): Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool http://tfl.nu/1a3e

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(443): View more from Maryland

Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long

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(443): Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long http://tfl.nu/owq9

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(619): View more from California

It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.

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(619): It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him. http://tfl.nu/bq38

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(951): View more from California

I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

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(951): I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays. http://tfl.nu/owjt

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(219): View more from Indiana

My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.

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(219): My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle. http://tfl.nu/g4yj

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