Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
