I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
should my penis look like a turkey
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
