I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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