I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just google imaged poop.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
