It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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