i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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