Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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