it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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