just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This baby is an asshole
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
