Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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