apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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