i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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