Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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