So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
