How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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