So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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