This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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