Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
