So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
