his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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