I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
