The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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