You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize