i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
