The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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