We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize