1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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