I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
