Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
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Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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