You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I would but heβs not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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