dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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