Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
