Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
