I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
