Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
