a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
