i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
