it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
4 words: hood of his car
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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