that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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