Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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