He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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